So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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