how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
