get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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