I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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