nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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