you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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