a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
