I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
