Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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