bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
