it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
