im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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