she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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