saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
