Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
