Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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