It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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