I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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