I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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