i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
