who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
