Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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