just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
