I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
