i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
even my farts smell like vagina
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
