you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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