ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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