question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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