my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
