Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
