Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
