I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
