we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
