You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
