I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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