So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize