I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
