i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
