that's an acceptable place to lick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
