All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The police scanner is talking about you again....
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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