fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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