You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm at about main and main street
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
