Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
