I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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