the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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