so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
