good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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