so let's talk penis.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
