All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
