Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
