It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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