I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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