some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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