I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to make out with him forever
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
