never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
