So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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