Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Let's get the cat blown out
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
