Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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