JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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