watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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