He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
