A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
too bad you live with your parents still
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
